i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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