Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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