somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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