definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
