my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
