Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize