try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
