You work out of a Hotel?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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