i permit you to call me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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