He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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