Say something about gay babies.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize