Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
