im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
