im having a threesome with these popsicles
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
