I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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