you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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