I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
