Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
