2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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