I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
