handjob tips. give me some.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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