i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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