I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
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I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you inspire me to be a worse person
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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