Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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