Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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