I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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