3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You were trust falling into bushes
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
