Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize