she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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