Your dad touched me again.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
