listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Pants are for mortals
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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