So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
