Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want a musical about memes.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
