So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
