Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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