Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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