Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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