Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the liver wants what the liver wants
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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