We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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