call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
