Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
