3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?