I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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