OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
