i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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