chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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