omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my sisters under your porch take her home
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
