do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
