Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
