dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
