I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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