After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize