I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
