and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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