"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
