where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
