I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize