honey bunches of taint.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
